In All Honesty
by FitzgLivviep
Summary: Set after the Season 4 finale and that beautiful #Olitz moment. Fitz and Liv bare their souls to each other at the place that started it all.
1. Chapter 1

A/N For my gladiators in suits out there I hope you are surving this hiatus. I wrote this one thinking about Liv and Fitz never really get to talk and fight. Second fanfic. Whoo! Some of you are looking at me how you going to write a new story before finishing one im talking about those of you who read House of Their Own. Its coming. I apologize for the delay. Reviews are welcome and if you want follow me on Instgram just PM me. Well all cylinders people and enjoy the ride. All charcters and references belong to Scandal, the ABC Family, and the great Shonda (who I hope doesn't destroy me without giving us Olitz in season 5)

In All Honesty

"What happens now?"

"Whatever we want."

After twirling her around and kissing every part of her face he sets her down and looks her in the eyes.

"Please tell me now that this isn't just a stolen moment. Liv I can't live like this anymore. I need you, I want you. I tried letting go after that bastard Andrew took you and changed your life. I saw that I needed to back off because I didn't save you. I didn't, don't argue me on that, you even said it. But I would do it all over again if it meant having you back and alive... Yes I have guilt for those who sacrificed their lives for my selfness but it is my burden to bare. I tried with Mellie but couldn't fully commit and I couldn't do that to her and myself. She is not you and never will be and even if this is a fleeting moment for you it is not for me, but I will take whatever you give me. I know we need to talk about a lot of things but please say it; I'm begging you forgive me and say you're in love with me too."

Liv had no words. She saw how lost and broken he was just like her. Taking his face in her hands she softly but with conviction "Fitz were in this together. I can't run and live in the darkness anymore. I've been waiting to stand in the sun when it was shining right in front of me the whole time. Yes we have to talk but that can wait. I love you; I'm in love with you. Always have been and always will be. This moment I'm Olivia and you are Fitzgerald. I forgive you."

Pulling his head the rest of the way down to meet her lips she seals her promise to him. In-between kisses they make what may seem like small promises that should go without speaking to anybody else but they are big to them.

"I'm not going to run." Liv speaks

"I'll never hurt you again." Fitz promises.

"I trust you."

"I need only you." Picking her up in my arms she felt like a feather but the world at the same time. Carrying her to the bathroom he sets her on the counter. He just gazes at her, "Go to Camp David with me tonight." He didn't have to wait long for her answer, "Yes." While still gazing at her he talks into the intercom.

"Steve I need this to be discreet. No one must know. I need to go to Camp David for the weekend."

"Understood Sir."

"And if there are cameras on my balcony delete them now."

"Yes Sir."

"Do not double cross me. I need your loyalty."

"You have it Mr. President. Sir excuse me if I step out of line I just need confirmation if White Dove is there."

"White Dove?"

"It is her code name. Before I came on to your detail Tom filled me in on your locations with her a long time ago. I came up with her code name."

"Good, but Tom betrayed me. Will I have to worry about you?"

"No Sir. If you'll excuse me I'll get your car and location secured. We should be ready within the hour."

While he was discussing preparations Liv hopped down and got a shower ready for them so they could wash away the day. Stripping down she enters the shower.

"You didn't wait for me," he says with a smile on his face and taking off his clothes.

"Well you better get in here because I plan on using all the hot water."

He hears it in her voice. It sounds sad and fearful and he has no idea why. _Was it him? Did he push her too far? Did she invite him in because he was there?_ Finally climbing in the shower he takes in the beauty of his Livvie. She was small, the water running down made her mocha skin glisten even more than it already did, and her hair was in its curly state. He loved her curls; he never got to see them much. Then there were her pink plump lips that always beckoned to him and lastly her beautiful big brown eyes. Those eyes told him everything she was thinking and pierced to his soul. Walking up to her wrapping his arms around her waist pulling her close to him he felt whatever he heard in her voice leave her body.

"Hi."

"Hi" _  
_


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

After getting out the shower they get dressed. No other words but hi were spoken which they both were re leaved about, they needed the time to just be without the real world coming in and their own thoughts.

"Sir. We are ready when you are."

"Thank you. We will be right out."

He looks at Liv tentatively and gives her a kiss on the forehead before walking past her to grab a bag to throw clothes in. Getting out the shower left a nervous cloud over them because they knew this time would be different. There wasn't going to be anymore stolen moments from this day on and that brought out each of their doubts in them. Filling his bag with shirts, sweats, and boxers he doesn't hear Liv walk up behind him.

"Fitz I need clothes."

"No you don't."

"What?"

"I mean you can just wear whatever I have in this bag. And before you go Olivia Pope the fixer on me we can get you a pant suit and your oh so precious heels before we leave here and you go back to OPA."

Giving him a small smile, "Hey don't knock my heels. It takes concentration and high level of pain tolerance to wear those 2 little beauties all day."

"How long do you except us to be gone?"

Zipping up the bag and grabbing her hand, "as long as we need to sweet baby."

"Fitz we can't fall back in to that pattern," reluctantly not moving when he starts to walk towards the door. "We need to be smart about this. You just fired your chief of staff, kicked your wife out and find a woman on your balcony... Oh and yea you are the President."

"Yes I did fire Cyrus. Yes I kicked Mellie out. Yes there was a beautiful woman on my balcony and yes I am the President but all those things can wait. I be damned if I ruin this chance with you over some bullshit people and job."

Liv just stares at him. It's late and she doesn't want to argue. Nodding yes he whisks them out the door and towards their waiting car before she can talk herself out of it.

 ** _4 hours later_**

"Liv wake up we are here." Once they got in the car she passed out, the past couple of days caught up with her. Fit couldn't sleep knowing that she was so close and the fear of closing his eyes meant there was a chance it was all a dream. In a second attempt to wake her he knew it was no use. While his agents did a sweep and collected their bags he gathered Liv in his arms walked into the cabin. He hasn't been back here since those blissful days they shared when their love was fresh and new. Walking into the bedroom he gently lays her on the bed taking her shoes and jacket off. He wanted to get her out of her clothes but he knew he didn't have the right to do that anymore, well at least not yet he hoped. If he was moving he wouldn't have heard her whisper something. She speaks again, "I'm fatigué peut me dépanner ces vêtements." This time he heard her clearly and she was speaking in French. "Livvie are you talking in your sleep in another language?" Semi conscious she nods.

"Sorry."

"Don't be I understood you but…

"What are you waiting for then. Help me so we can go to sleep." Helping her out her cloths leaving her in her bra and panties he pulls the covers back which she climbs under. Quickly stripping down to his boxers he climbs in the bed behind her pulling her close.

Were in this together she whispers and both fall into a peaceful slumber.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Liv woke the next morning feeling at peace. Looking around memories started flooding back. Feeling a squeeze she looks at Fitz's arm wrapped tightly around her waist. In his arms she was at peace but the black cloud still hovering that never really seemed to leave them was still there. Slipping out of the bed she went to do her morning routine. Before leaving Liv stares back at the man she loves unconditionally. In that moment she decides to hold nothing back and make their dreams come true and be his partner by his side and not behind him.

Walking into the kitchen to start a pot of coffee knowing they need to talk about everything so they can get on track and come up with a plan to move forward together. Laughing an in her head she remembered a time he told her that the fixer in her didn't even have the word vacation in her vocabulary. Taking a deep breath she decides to get breakfast started. Fitz thinks she can't cook but she does.

Placing his hand in search of Olivia he comes in contact with the cold bed. Snapping his eyes open and sitting up he searches the room for any evidence his angel on was there.

"It was all a dream." Feeling defeated he makes his way to the bathroom in a zombie state. After a quick shower he hears something downstairs, running down to find out what it was he finds his Livvie buzzing around the kitchen cooking. It wasn't a dream she's really there and with him. Taking in her sight of her in his Navy shirt that she loves and lace panties that he gets a glimpse of when she bends over to the oven. Releasing the breathe he didn't know he was holding he walks over to her wrapping his arms around her waist

"Morning."

Jumping slightly, "Morning." Placing a small kiss on his lips.

"Hi."

"Hi." Breaking contact with her he walks over to a bar stool she places a cup of coffee in front of him

"So what's all this?"

"Breakfast, I haven't had a hearty breakfast in a long time. So I figured why not. And before you ask yes I can cook I just don't have the time or anyone to cook for."

He just looks at her with love in his eyes dreaming of the future days with this woman. Breaking their eye seduction she turns when the timer goes off to get the food. She made eggs, grits with butter and sugar, bacon, biscuits and gravy, and some potatoes o' brien.

"Wow. Livvie this looks delicious. I can't remember the last time I had a home cooked meal or even had one, but you didn't have to do all this."

"Thank you and yes I did. Let's dig in."

They avoid the inevitably by talking about anything other than politics, OPA, their relationship, and all the drama. They finally clean up and it becomes award. The leader of the free world is scared shitless and Olivia who has faced countless dangerous situations has no words.

"Look we have to clean the air on everything that has happened between us. Complete honesty, hold nothing back."

Taking a seat on the couch Liv walks to the opposite couch and squares her shoulders.

"Where do we start?"

"From the beginning where we lost each other. When you left."

"Okay."

A/N Sorry for any spelling errors and all that, I try to keep up with it but sometimes it slips by. Reviews always welcomed and you guys are in for a treat. I will be posting more than a couple of chapters here. I will also be trying to get a chapter into House of Their Own and starting 2 more stories all before midnight. I have put this challenge on myself and I have considered it handled lol. Enjoy!


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

A/N: Hope you guys are still with me. Sorry ahead for misspelling or confusion. It's about to be an emotional roller coaster for the next couple of chapters. There will be anger, tears, sadness, and cussing. I don't want to give too much away but just a warning I'm going to try add a little bit of everything. And yes it bounces around because who really goes in order when you are hashing your whole relationship out. Leave reviews and tell a friend to tell a friend because every Gladiator should have some OLITZ during the toughest months after that balcony scene. Enjoy!

"I got on a plane with Jake and went to an off shore island."

"Why? I needed you Jerry just di…was killed and needed you. I had Mellie call you because that's all I could say."

"I was already on the plane. I was on the island for about three months before Quinn tracked me down telling me that Harrison was dead. I came back and everything had gone to hell. OPA was in pieces just like my life. I thought I was fixing everybody by taking me out the equation. I was planning on staying till the funeral and make sure I wasn't found out to be back in D.C. but I knew that was too good to be true. One thing lead to another and I saw you for the first time and I can swear I felt your fingers against mine and I smiled a true smile in that moment."

"I did too. After Jerry was gone I didn't know how to function with another part of me gone, but I had to for Mellie and the people. She fell apart and I didn't have time to grieve for him completely or the lost of us. I said cruel things to her. Than the incident with Karen happened and she called you, I just went on autopilot. Mellie slowly came back while I slowly drifted further into the darkness. I knew you were out there but I couldn't have you. You said there was hope I took that and ran with it because hearing that from your lips made me not want to be afraid of living."

"Then you started calling and that call left me very frustrated," she said giving him a knowing look.

"Good to know I did exactly what I meant for it to do and have that effect on you."

Liv gives a little laugh and Fitz raise an eyebrow at her.

"I was just was thinking about that conversation and how you just overwhelmed me over the damn phone. Then there was this thing Jake said."

"And what was that?"

"Don't be mad okay. His words not mine." Taking a deep breath, "I am the one you like to ride. I'm the one who makes you moan. I'm the one who reaches you in places _he_ can't touch"

"He said that. Really? So is it true?"

"We are getting off subject"

"Just answer. My pride and ego over here needs an answer and I want the song I sing in my head to be true. Keith Sweats Nobody has kept me mildly sane when I knew you were with him."

Laughing, "NO to his whole speech. Satisfied?"

"Very. Now back to us."

They get back on track and it's time for Liv to talk about her being taken. But for the life of her she couldn't and all the effects that she hasn't dealt with come rushing back. Her hands start twitching and she starts hyperventilating. Fitz sees her distress and doesn't know what's happening.

"Livvie what's wrong?"

She lifts her head and he can see she is struggling to breathe,

"Livvie breathe baby. I'm right here breathe for me breath with me." Picking her up her legs automatically wrap around his waist. "Baby your scaring me. Do I need to get you a doctor or to the hospital?"

Letting out a small cry and a shake of her head no she keeps her head tucked in his shoulder. "Look me in the eyes. Good follow me. Watch and copy me." Breathing in and out Liv follows him and slowly starts calming down. When her breathing is back to normal she whispers something,

"I didn't hear you Liv."

"Take of your shirt please. I need to feel you close to me. Please?"

Immediately he moves them to a wall placing her back against it so he can take their shirts off. He wasn't expecting her not to have a bra on and he can't help but stare a little. But this wasnt about sex but healing her. Lifting her chin she crashes her lips to his brining their bodies flush together. Running her hands thru his curls while his hands ran up and down her sides, across her face, and stomach and over heart. He was aching to take away her pain since being back together they haven't had sex. Seeing her like this he was just was a man…a man in love who needed to take care of his woman.

"I need you to save me," Liv whispers.

"I'm not going anywhere you have all of me Livvie. I promise. I have made many promises to you but this one will be the fist and not the last promise I follow thru on. No one will stop me from following thru anymore not even you." There is a moment of acceptance before she begins.

"I was in my living room dancing with Jake. He walked to the back and 2 men came in and dragged me across the to my neighbors apartment. She was dead. They threw me in a black bag and placed her body on me then zipped the bag shut. I was drugged and next thing I remember I was waking up in this dirty room with a man. Long story short I was waiting to be rescued by anyone. I just wanted to be found. I made that video and figured it could be my last chance after failed attempts. I got one though."

Starting to shake with anger Fitz moves them to the couch where she sits in his lap. He's rubbing her back to send his strength to her for her to keep going. Trying not to push her but there were so many things running threw his head. _I thought she said they didn't physically hurt her? Did she lie to try and spare me even though she was hurting?_ _I will kill Andrew myself when I get the chance._

Snapping him back was her answers to all things in his head.

"No they didn't hurt me in that manner. I will always try to protect you and killing Andrew is not the answer."

"After all this time we are still in tune with each other's thoughts."

"I had a dream while I was there."

"Tell me."

"Jake rescued me and after that it went black for a second. I woke up in a strange bed and house but I gained my bracings and knew I was home. I went and took a shower and you called out and joined me in the shower where you used your superpowers," earning her that secret smile he gives only her, "then it popped to use in the kitchen with you explaining your day as mayor and me making boysenberry jam."

"I love boysenberry."

"I know. I walk the dog around the property. Tom and Abby were there they made my dream fade into a nightmare."

Laying down with her still in his arms he starts sobbing hard.

"I didn't save you in real life or even your dream. I caused all this."

"Fitz this wasn't your fault." Bursting up from the couch with tears in his eyes still running down his face.


	5. Chapter 5

"How the hell isn't any of this my fault? I chose Andrew when your gut said he was wrong, oh then he was screwing Mellie. I took anger out on him and Mellie and you. But you didn't deserve any of it. I yelled at you that I needed to talk to my wife for gosh sakes. I was pissed that she made me feel completely wrong for the destruction of our marriage. And I'm not going to lie I was angry at you for coming to her defense that night and making me want you so badly the same damn time, for keeping me in that prison cell so I can live a dream, but my dream is being able to live freely with you all the time. Sad thing about it everybody knew and used it against me and dangled you like some pawn in their personal agendas. But Andrew he was on another level. He took you-my heart, soul, my life. When I saw you on that tape I wished it were me, I prayed it was all a dream and I was the one in your place. I physically stopped breathing, I couldn't think, I didn't want to believe it was happening. I actually failed you completely and it was staring me dead in my face. They were trying to sell you like some piece of meat, and I still had to run a country. It took all the power in me not to pool all my funds into that account, I didn't care but then it flashed across the screen that you were sold and I was empty and I tried again…"

"Fitz…"

"Later. I got word you were back and ran to you as fast I can but you didn't want and I expected that, I did, but I didn't expect was for you to throw your ring at me. I never felt so empty and utterly like a failure in that moment. I was, am a failure. Ha Big Gerry was right."

And with that tears start streaming down his face. It hit him like ton of bricks when the realization came clear. He was just like his father, just a complete waste of space. He failed as a husband, father, president, person, but most all man.

Taking it all in Liv finally speaks up looking at the man in front of her, "that man did a number on you."

"What?"

"I said he did a number on you," feeling angry and making her voice rise just at the thought of Big Gerry who was six feet under wishing she could stomp him down six more feet, "let him the fuck go please. Let all the cruel things between him and Mellie go. Between all the ups and down I _never_ thought of leaving you in this world alone." Finishing with a menacing growl. Now she was hurt but also angry in general.

"You for damn sure are not going to brush it under the rug again. I tried talking about it with yo _u_ but I didn't try hard enough and I should have. You have told me you have tried to… tried to kill yourself twice. You don't get to stand there yelling and place all the blame on yourself. We are in this together, I'm to blame too. I pushed you away so this works both ways." She stomps out the room without a glance or another word to him about anything that just happened. Staring at her walking away he's in shock and can feel his blood boiling again.

 _Why does she keep doing that? Why does she have to have the last word and make sure it sounds like it's all her fault. She just told me we are in this together and she goes and pulls this shit, but she has nowhere to run this time._


	6. Chapter 6

Just to clear a few things up they are arguing. All capitals are them yelling those parts, italicize is either spoken with force or one of them thinking. This was a little hard to write and this is just the beginning of the emotional roller coaster I have set for them. I hope I'm getting their emotions across as clear as possible with not having to always explain them. So enjoy and review.

Fitz was fuming because they went from touching, loving, being open and honest to fear, and rage. Tearing up the stairs after her had it with her running and walls. He finds her in a guest room pacing in circles.

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

"What?" Without even looking at him because she knows once she looks at him it's all over she's all in and that scares her to death. That knowing someone could love and want her that much.

"You don't get to run any damn more."

"I didn't…"

"You did. We were getting somewhere than you try to end the conversation trying to make me feel better while you carry the burden. Earth to Olivia you said we are in this together. Than let me in shit."

"Fine you want me to say it. I'm angry and I don't want to be angry anymore, it's exhausting."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Don't play that game with me. Why are you angry?"

"Does it matter?"

Hearing that breaks the last resolve he has left. He closes the space between them and in her face and with each word is oozing anger, "It does matter. You get to be angry with me. Show me how angry. TELL ME! You think that throwing your ring at me was anger, it wasn't. That fire that you feel in your chest that drips to your stomach and slowly spreads thru your whole body to the point where you can't feel anything and all you can do is act, I want that, bring it out NOW!"

He can see it in her eyes that are clouding over and all rational thought leaving her. In this moment he is a little scared because he doesn't know if he's pushed her into her darkness and can come back from it. But he's here if she falls he will bring her back. There shouldn't have been anything sexual about this but it turned him on how in this moment she looked completely out of control. This was a part he never got to see from her and it was primal and a new chapter in their relationship.

"I hate you for making me push to keep you in the White House or how about leaking my name. I hate that I spent too many nights crying over you. And let's not forget how disgusting you made me feel after the closet sex. How you had Jake spy on me. The promises you make but never follow thru on. I want babies, Vermont, and jam. To not be fixing people's problems day in and day out so I can finally fix myself is gold, I could have our babies in my arms right now. Fuck I can't even look at Teddy; he was supposed to be my baby! Mine! But the biggest thing was YOU NOT PROTECTIG ME! You said I would always be safe with you even if you couldn't be there physically. They came in to my house and took me. I wonder if you would have known if it wasn't for Andrew or Jake coming to you. I don't hate you anymore, I forgive you. I really do but I'm angry. _I'm angry_ that things keep getting in our way, I fix it, and you just let it happen, and I know it's not all in your hands but that's how I feel."

She was exhausted. She finally got some things off her chest that needed to be said, it was hard but it was huge step for her. Some of things she didn't admit to herself. It was how she felt and he needed to know, hell she needed to know. When he told her to let the anger consume her she did and it felt good to finally be a little lighter because she knew this was just the beginning because some things were closed but new wounds have been opened.

He has no words. She didn't hold back and for that he's glad but that still stop the sting that hits him when she admitted she wanted babies with him and how much Teddy was suppose to be hers. Hearing her say that he didn't protect hurt him the worse. He knew she didn't say these things to hurt him it just opened his eyes to all the pain she has been holding in. Feeling emotional drained himself he stole a glance at the clock, they have been going at it for six hours. Fitz looks at her, she looked small and defeated. Bending his knees he catches her eyes and shows a weak smile. He walks over to her and captures in a hug.

"Thank you. I'm going to get a snack for us, we need to refuel." Kissing her forehead he lets her go and walks out the room.


	7. Chapter 7

Walking in to the kitchen Fitz was drained across the board, but he felt lighter. Grabbing water he drinks it all in three big gulps. He can feel her before he sees her walk into the kitchen.

"I was thinking turkey sandwiches." He turns to her all she can do is nod.

"Can I get a water?"

He brings over water and turns back around to make their lunch in silence. Once done he places one in front of her and picks his up and they eat in silence. The silence is tense but not uncomfortable. It's allowing them to process what has been revealed over the last couple of hours. Clearing their plates he stands her up and grabs her face and stares into her eyes for a few moments before letting go.

He takes his phone from off the table where he left it and places it on the music dock _Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell- Hold On_ comes thru the speakers all around them. He walks over to her once the words start coming out

 ** _I want you to hold me, oh my darling  
& never, never let me go  
Oh kiss me & tell me you love me  
Yeah yeah because I, I, I I love you so  
(I I love you, I love you so)_**

She has her back to him and he walks up behind her and places his hands on her hips and slowly glides them till they rest on her stomach then places his head on her shoulder. Placing small whisper kisses on her shoulder he goes all the way up her neck till he reaches the spot behind her ear causing her to let out a little moan.

 ** _Ohhh_** ** _When I'm alone, alone & troubled baby  
& my life my, my life seems dark as night  
Whoo then I ask baby , I'll ask, I'll ask please_**

 ** _Ohh please, please  
be my guiding light  
(Won't you be my guiding light)_**

He feels a surge of pride when she hasn't pulled away from him and he can still cause those types of reactions from the love of his life- his woman- the only one he wanted for the rest of his life. He lifts her hair and kisses the back of her neck leaving wet kisses with small nibbles along the way.

 _ **You know I get such a strange sensation  
Every time I hear your name  
Now all of my friends & my relations  
They say I'm loving you (loving you) loving you in vain  
Yeah yeah**_

He continued down her neck on the other side, and snuggled his face in her neck taking in her smell that he missed and loved so much.

 ** _Snuggle, snuggle, snuggle on my shoulder baby_** _  
_ _ **Come on & tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me that you care darling  
Ohhh& as my love, my love, my love, my love grows older baby  
Whoo, tell me that the flame, that the flame flame  
Ohh baby Flame will still be there  
(That the flame flame will still be)**_

Continuing his lip assault on her neck she throws her head back and gives him more access. He continues it to the other side and back till the songs ends.

 _ **Yeah yeah**_

 ** _I'm going to hold you baby, never let you go_**

 ** _(And what you got to say)  
Hold me baby_**

 ** _Yes I will darling, Ill love every minute of it darling (yeah yeah)_**

 ** _Hold me_**

 ** _(I'm going to hold you in my arms)_**

He lets her go while she tries to gain back some control over her libido. Between the song and his lips she needed a moment to compose herself. _Stevie Wonders- For Once and My Life_ starts to play.

"Dance with me." She turns around and he's already dancing and she can't help but smile and laugh. He's a good dancer and she has a feeling she was the only one who knew this about him. It was good to see his free side. The last time she danced she was hiding her emotions and with a man she didn't love. This time she felt free, safe, and in love. They keep dancing all around till _Etta James- At Last_ comes on. He engulfs her in his arms dropping his mouth to her ear and whispers

"Tell me your dreams and goals." She pulls away took look him in the eye and all she sees is comfort and true curiosity. She decides there no point in hiding anymore this is their second chance and she can't let it slip by her this time

"Well I want OPA back to its old self; things aren't just the same there anymore. Once that's done open a small firm in Vermont close to home, our home. My dreams are to be married to you living in Vermont with Karen, Teddy and our babies full of love and ecstasy."

"Consider it handled." He leans in and kisses her on the lips.

* * *

No copyright intended with all songs included in this chapter. (Wipes tear) Aww Liv and Fitz are emotional with each other. I enjoyed writing this and I hope you enjoyed reading it. Following chapters will be more talking, maybe a small fight laught, lots of laughter, them getting down and dirty, plus the planning of whats to come for their return back. Reviews always welcome just try to be nice


	8. Chapter 8

For the next couple of hours they were care free. They listened to music from oldies to some of today's hits even a little bit of old school rap, which surprised Olivia. There was dancing pressed together, separate, and all-out throwing caution to the wind. Oh and let's not forget the making out like to horn ball teenagers. With each kiss it was a breath of fresh air into their lungs. They each thought the hunger for each other was broken and couldn't be repaired but they were wrong. After collapsing on the floor, after their mini dance party they fall in to a fit of laughter Liv rolls on top of Fitz straddling his lap.

"Did you know that I love you to the moon and back? I know I never said those words to you freely like this without hesitation but trust me I do love you. And I promise I will work on saying it more to you."

"Do you know how long I've waited to hear you say it without hesitation, and I know it's hard for you to say and I do know that you love me. I look forward to hearing those three words more from you. In all honesty just looking, feeling, and hearing all of this from you has brought back hope in my heart that I'm not alone in this world."

After hearing his declaration and saying the truth there was no need for words. Leaning her forehead to his she whispers that they should go take a bath and wash away the day.

"With bubbles?" he asks with a boyish grin, that she loved on him.

"Lots and lots of bubbles."

Hand in hand they walk up to the master bathroom. Fitz releases her hand to start the water. Liv just gazes at his frame. There was no doubt he was built like a Greek God and she loved everything on him and about him but after their time apart she really got to look at him again. She loved his back and shoulders making her knees grow weak, plus he had a nice firm butt, not too big and not to small and him just standing there looking all delicious she couldn't help what she did next. And she didn't even want to get started on his arms. Turning around he sees her staring.

"What?" he asks feeling a little embarrassed under her gaze from wondering if she liked what she saw.

"Come here," motioning with her finger.

He walks slowly over to her and she pushes him gently up against the counter of the sink. They gaze into each other eyes letting them do the talking. Gliding her hands up and down slowly against his chest she lifts up the hem of his shirt letting her nails make contact with his skin. Of course he found her beautiful so anytime she was around he was aroused but it's been a while and all she's done was take off his shirt and he felt like he was going to explode right there. Having tossed his shirt somewhere behind her she starts placing kisses all over his chest all the way down to his belly button where she dips her tongue in to it, traveling her tongue down to his waistband she hears him groan out her name.

Looking up at him, "yes Mr. President?"

Taking the last bit of restraint he grunts out "bath." As much as he wanted to take her he knew that there were still secrets that they needed to come clean about. This getaway was about them opening up and coming clean so they could start new and burn down those who tried to stand in their way.

"Of course Mr. President we can finish this later," kissing back up to his jaw over to his ear and whispers, "we have forever."

Turning around to the faucet he throws cold water on his face and down his arms helping him cool down and find the courage to be strong and hold out all while thinking she will be the death of him. She adds bubbles to the running water and quickly undresses and hops in the tub. Sighing in the water she takes in the smell of lavender, Fitz admires her for a moment before climbing in behind and does the same brining his nose to her hair. Instantly she feels his rock hard member and on instinct she grinds into him causing him to close his eyes and throw his head back in satisfaction.

"Sorry," Liv says.

"Don't be its all for you and it's yours, do as you please. It's just been… awhile… since I've been this close to you and let's just say your causing me to go back in age and forget how to control myself," he laughs.

Laughing to, "I know how you feel…. It just surprised me how my body reacted to you. Plus every time it's a surprise to see you're… ummm size and thickness."

"I guess I need to remind you exactly what you've been missing and make sure I keep on giving it to you nice and slow."

"Easy there cowboy…"

"Really Liv you're putting on the brakes now. I'm going to combust and blue balls really hurt. Don't you want to relief some tension," he says kissing her shoulders, "I can feel all the stress you have."

"Believe me I do and I know I opened this box but we have to put it on pause so we can discuss everything that was said and more."

Sighing, "I know."

 _Hang in there boy we will get to play he thought._


	9. Chapter 9

Chp 9

"We left of kind of heated."

"We did but I said my peace, did you?"

"Yes I did."

"So we can move on to the next thing?"

"The next thing I'm going to say is going to hurt you."

She feels him stiffen against her body, turning around she lays a hand on his face.

"Please stop thinking the worse. I'm not running anymore. I ran home to you and I was scared but you welcomed me with open arms. I will never run from you again but I will always run to you and only you. Okay?"

He just nods his head, she knows it's going to take time for him to believe her but she also has to put action behind those words. Silently promising to herself and him that she will try her damn hardest to prove her love to him inside and out. Taking a deep breath she jumps right back in to their roller coaster of confessions.

"I was lonely and Jake and I…he just wasn't a good option anymore because he loves me and I just wanted simple no strings attached. I went to a bar and made up an alter ego to not feel like the pressure of being the formidable Olivia Pope anymore. Her name was Alex. At the bar I met Russell. He became the perfect opportunity and I took it. We met a few times but I started getting a weird gut feeling but I stopped trusting my gut completely and I brushed it off not wanting to see the truth. Turns out he was a B613 agent sent in by my father, when I figured it out he already stabbed Jake to the point he was near death. That still bothers me a little that he was that close and I let him just because I wanted to feel numb. I know my father and he knows I would have done everything in my power to safe him, but that's thing why just let Russell kill Jake? Anyways I put two and two together plus overhearing him talk about something called Operation Remington. We held him so we could track down my father but he caught on and the war began. The lawyer from the Navy case was another B613 agent. David, Jake and I all were about to take down B613 for good but not without a few casualties along the way. It involved you shooting down the plane, but we never got that far because the next thing I know is Huck is rushing over to me saying something happened. All the jurors were killed. In that moment I gave up, I was tired of blood being shed for me just to find an ounce of peace and happiness; I was ruining the lives of others to make sure _I_ got what I wanted."

"Liv…"

"Let me finish. I knew that I was giving up but I wasn't fully done yet but David was. I went to the last source I could get to listen to me."

"C.I.A."

Nodding her yes she continues, "but before that I visited my mother and she said something that I didn't see useful until later. At the CIA headquarters me and Jake told them about our findings and she looked like she was on our side till she left and came back and we were arrested. There has to be someone on the inside who has something over her. David came to me with a deal that if I don't sign it they were going to take me, Jake and his mother down, and if I never speak of it again I was free to go in that moment I knew that David wasn't just scared anymore he was being threatened with something, David wears the white hat always. I signed it and we were released. And the second I get home I get a call from command himself to gloat in his usual manner telling me that I won I killed Rowan and B613; now Eli Pope was just an old man with nothing to hide. Hearing him say that reminded me what my mother said and it all clicked. Rowan was dead but Eli wasn't and he could be touched by the law. I remembered when we first went for him that we stole money from his accounts and we planted it to look like Eli stole it over the years. He's in jail and I'm free, free of him at least," letting out a breath she looks over at his face to see his reaction. She saw fear, anger, but all above she saw was his love and expectance.

"I have a few questions and things to say. Where is Jake? Russell is a dead man, even if he is already dead. I fired Cyrus because I found out he was the one who had you arrested, had your mother released, and helped Mellie get the names of the jurors on that bus. Mellie is gone I kicked her out, she was standing in my office laughing saying that she was going to be next for President. It just made me laugh because for the life of me that woman…I told her that we were at war and last night I ended it. I know you made sure that Rowan had his minions disappear but I have a feeling there could still be some hiding. And lastly wow, you are just….wow."

 _He was in awe of her. She was the epitome of being beautiful inside and out. She had taken control of everything and handled it with grace. To top it off she stopped running and came to him and they could be together, it wouldn't be easy but they were stronger from having this time apart to come together and make anything and everything possible for them. They could finally be happy, shit he could finally be in love_ he thought to himself.

"I don't know where Jake is, Russell was handled, I'm happy about that you finally cut Cyrus and Mellie loose but we both know they won't go quietly and the moment that they get a whiff of me near you it's going to turn into a full on battle, I didn't know that my mother was released and that makes everything even more complicated because last time she was out she tried to blow you up, as far as Rowans and his lackeys I don't know but I have an idea but I don't know how you will take it because I'm not so sure myself. And wow is correct, we should get out the water is getting cold."

"We should its adding on to the wrinkles I work hard to hide," he jokes to lighten the mood a little.

Getting out they dry off wrapped in their own personal thoughts about all that has been laid at the others feet. Noticing she didn't have any clothes Liv panics a little.

"Can I have something to wear?"

"Liv you don't have to ask, what mine is yours," he says handing her a pair of boxers and a Navy shirt.

After getting dressed in even more silence they climb in bed. Fitz was thinking how they are so close but far from being done with taking down those who surround them who hated their love. She had bared her soul and now it was his turn to do the same, no more secrets. Turning on his side and asking her to do the same so that they were looking at each other.

Taking a deep breath, "the first time was after I was re-elected, Jerry was dead, and you left without a trace. After pulling myself off the floor I went to your apartment and it felt so empty even though there were things in the rooms. I walked to your room and felt the heaviness that you were gone and Jerry was never coming back. I was empty. The only person who could make me feel whole again disappeared on me and never said goodbye, upon realization that you ran away I took my pills that I had from when I was shot out of my pocket. Not wanting to think anymore and sleep I walked in to the shower, climbed in the hot water and swallowed the whole bottle, but I was impatient because I didn't feel the effects right away, I drunk a whole bottle of wine that I found. Last thing I remember before it all went white was seeing your smile and laugh sitting with kids that looked like a perfect mix of both of us, and Karen and Teddy were there too."

I couldn't take it anymore I let the tears fall. I didn't mean to cause him pain but hearing what he did to himself was killing me on the inside.

"Don't cry sweetheart, I'm here and it all that matters. I guess when everything that I did took effect I saw Jerry. My God he looked so beautiful, he told me

 **Dream Scenario**

 _'_ _Dad come on this isn't how you go out. I'm proud of you pops. Karen is always going to be your little girl and she needs you to be there to scare away the boys and the one that makes it thru you have to walk her down the aisle. Teddy needs you so he can grow in to a true Grant and maybe run the world one day like you. Plus this isn't where you get to meet your next two kids. Their beautiful just like Liv. Dad you love her and I know you're hurting right now but if you're here the twins won't be born. Tell her I don't hate her I actually admired her and loved her. Tell her she is loved by us from up above, Dad go back, I love you._

Next thing I know I'm gagging on black chalk from the doctors pumping my stomach. Daniel got….to…in time," saying in-between sobs that have taken over him.

Still sobbing and completely breaking down, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for not thinking. I just needed the pain and thoughts to stop."

Taking his head into my hands I place his head on my chest so he can hear my heart beat. We are both crying for the loss of Jerry, the time we lost, the hurt our parents brought us, the betrayal we did to each other, for the kids and future we want so bad that we can taste it. I cry for the fact that I was once again forcing him into making his marriage work, that he didn't want anymore and I was wrong for that."

Speaking into her chest, "the second time was really unintentional it was after you threw the ring back at me. After I left I was drinking for 12 hours straight, Mellie found me puking up dark red vomit, which was blood because of so much puking I was doing. I was in another world again and I heard two of the most beautiful voices calling me daddy, telling me to stop, they loved me, and I would have to trust in hope, faith, and our love. I sound crazy talking about seeing Jerry and hearing children that aren't even born yet."

After both their tears have stopped, "not crazy at all. I'm so sorry that I helped in any way to get you to that dark place. Look at me Fitz," lifting his head from his resting spot on her heart he looks into the most beautiful eyes that controlled his soul, "promise me you will never do anything like this again and if you feel yourself falling you will come to me and I will do the same when the nightmares or panic attacks come. I will find you day or night. We need to live for ourselves, for each other, and our family. We have two beautiful babies waiting on us to get our shit together so they can be on earth with us and their brother and sister."

"I promise. You are the only one who sees me as Fitz who happens to be the President not the President who is named Fitz."

"I always will, sleep baby. Dream of our future that we will have sooner rather than later, those beautiful babies we will have together, walking Karen down the aisle, think of all the happy times with Jerry, and you being the greatest man on the planet. Sleep I got you, I'm not going anywhere."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

Laying his head back down on her chest he instantly falls in a slumber that was much needed. I silently pray that he is okay and we will make it thru whatever is thrown our way together. Feeling complete and safe in his arms knowing they have a bumpy road but their love was unbreakable I fall into a slumber with the love of my life and our hearts beat as one again.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: I'm on a roll with this updating and there is more to come...Its been so long that I even had to read the last chapter to figure where I stopped lol. Its picks up the next morning. Read, enjoy and review.**

* * *

Laying soft kisses on the most incredible person to him on the face of the earth, he gently rolls out of bed trying not to wake her up.

Eyes still closed Liv asked, "hey where are you going?"

"Sorry I didn't mean to wake you."

"It's okay but I was all warm and toasty."

"My apologies ma'am, what can I do to fix it?"

"One minute."

Throwing his feet back into the bed and laying his head back on her chest. Both taking a deep breath at the same time their breathing becomes one, and relish in their bubble of love. Once time is up he rolls them over so she's on top and Liv assaults his face with kisses and starts to tickle him.

"Liv stop that," he tries to say in between laughs

"Nope."

"Liv stop that I am a man of the people I can't be tickled."

"That you are but you're my man and you're going to lay there and get tickled by me."

Before she can continue her attack he flips them over again but with him on top, "oh is that right?"

Nodding her head yes biting her lip.

"Do you feel how much your man wants you?" he asks pressing his erection against the inside of her thigh, "do you like what you feel from your man?"

Moaning out his name in his ear and grabbing his shoulders she moves her hips to put him closer to where she wants him

"Yes sweet baby," he says giving her the wicked grin that knocks the air out of her every time. Giving her a hungry look of pure lust, "what is it you want?"

With one word his heart is filled with so much love he doesn't even know how it's possible, "you," she answer

"You already have me. I'm yours, so take what is yours."

That was all the permission she needed and swiftly her hand is in his sweats to feel his rock hard blessing. Gently stroking him, he grows even bigger with her hand movements. Sliding back down to the tip she rubs her thumb against it and it grants her a deep groan from him

"This is all mines?"

"Yes and I'm going to show you what I can do with it."

"No Fitz, we can't."

"He was about to blow and he was not in the mood to talk anymore. He wanted to be connected her, be one with her. He needed to be wanted, to feel loved. He wanted her screaming his name so he knew he made her feel good.

"Really Liv come on. Look at me," gesturing down his hard erection.

"Fitz I'm sorry but I don't think we are ready. We still have a ways to go. I want to do it right this time around. I want everything on the table before we add sex."

"Fine." I wasn't upset with her but the situation. I knew I was being stupid and caught up in a sex haze but having her in my arms made me feel grounded. I was able to sort thru my thoughts. But we were starting new so I would try it her way.

"What do you want from me? WHAT DO YOU WANT?" I yell jumping from the bed, "I tried to give up the White House, push you away and divorce Mellie. I did all that for you but divorcing Mellie was for me, but you were so dead stubborn to keep me in my marriage for some damn optics. I did that for you because you said optics and you believed in me and I wanted to be something you were proud of. I have told you time and time again that I'll give this all up for you, just to have a life with you. I built us a damn dream house and I want to make it a reality. Do you ever think how I felt when I was building a house for the woman I love and having the fear and doubt that she will never choose me to live our dreams, our destiny, our future. Why don't _I_ get to have dreams, why can't I save you? God even when I got shot you were fighting for me to stay in office, then I found out about defiance, I break up with you and I become an emotional mess of a person. I fucking had every right to be angry because the one person that was on my side, who saw me, that I thought believes in me did an horrible thing. After stewing in self pity I realized something about Verna, Hollis, and especially Mellie and Cyrus they saw you as my weakness or a card that could be played to control me, that what they used against you to get you to cave. They placed all the blame and the insecurities on you, plus whatever you felt for me added to the pressure and you caved. I couldn't function, I wanted you and hated you at the same time for getting me there and locking me that prison alone. I was angry. All that went away when I got word that you were in the hospital," taking a moment to calm down and take a breath recalling the feeling of when his world came crashing down, "once again I didn't save you, I didn't protect you. Do you even think how that makes me feel as a man? Why do you even want me, I'm a failure of as a man. It's that simple I'm a failure all around. We all know I'm a failure at being a husband, father, and a man."

"Fitz…" my heart was breaking for him. I never did think about him. I knew I was getting all the hts but he was getting them too. They say when the person you love hurts you hurt too.

"No Liv it's true. I'm broken, my father was right I will never be good because I'm weak," flopping back down on the bed.

"That's enough! You are not weak; your father was the weak one. He saw how great and extraordinary you are and became jealous that you would have it all."

"I don't have it all. I have…"

"Let me finish, Fitzgerald Thomas Grant III is a great father, I may not know personally about you being a husband but I do see that you tried all those years. As far as a failure as a man, that you are not, I know as the man of the house has to be a big responsibility and on top of that you have to run a country. You are only human."

I see her move closer to me. I felt raw but as she inched closer I could see us getting better. She finally reached me and straddled my thighs and took my face in her perfect hands that I knew were made for me to hold and kiss.

"This is why I need you, you understand me sometimes better than I understand myself. Seeing you, being in the same air as you takes away all the pain even it is just for a small moment. Going back to the residence knowing that my work is never done because I have to still deal with Mellie, she never was able to tell me the way you can and I am glad for that because that is proof to me that you see me. You make it possible for me to get up the next day and want to do better than the day I did before, make the world better for you and my kids, help those who can't help themselves, I just want to be better because you give me that hope and faith that I can do it. I have the confidence I can do that but when you are around I feel powerful that I will reach every goal and I will make you proud. I know that when I can't anymore and I need a moment you can take over and know when I'm ready that you will hand it back over without hesitation or a secret agenda. We are an actual team, I fall you pick me up and if you fall I pick you up. Neither of us in front of the other, we stand side by side."

Smiling, "I hear you. I see you. We are healing. Come on let me feed you Mr. President."

"I could eat."

"Shameless, just shameless. Let's go get real food Fitz."

Climbing off me she reaches her hand out which I happily take and entwine our fingers and we walk out the room into a new world.

* * *

 **A/N:** **And yes i noticed i switched between how they were talking. Ill fix it...maybe lol.**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N:I was talking to a friend who is Olake and she was giving the run around why Liv should be with Jake but being the gladiator that I am I had the defining moment up my sleeve and that would be episode 2x20 and 2x21 Olitz moments. That moment would be when they said their "Hi" in the shower and them being all domestic the next morning. I don't know how many people understood the big picture but for a black woman to willingly get her hair wet and have it bounce back to her natural state knowing she has work tomorrow is rarely heard of and shows deep love. Plus I don't think I have ever seen Liv fix Jakes tie but I could be wrong on that.**

 **Case and point Fitz has two showers scenes and Jake zero and with that I am proud to say she is undoubted team Olitz now. Yay! Plus I am still feeling a little salty when Jake said he needed to do something with her hair, if you haven't noticed. But back to what you really came here for….**

* * *

I felt light. I finally got to experience love or what I least thought was love. The love that makes you want to get up in the morning and go to bed praying to wake and do it all over again. At the moment the person carrying my love was in the kitchen cooking again. These are the moments I cherish with her. We are not the most powerful man and she is not the greatest fixer, we are just Fitz and Liv and I like hearing the sound of that.

Sitting down we eat breakfast and chat about nothing in particular until something that has been weighing on me flies out of my mouth before I can stop it.

"Why do you love and be honest?"

"This little get away is all about honesty. That's a loaded question but if you need to hear it I will give it to you. I don't know."

"You don't know why you love me?"

"I don't. Just hear me out, when I was watching you from the shadows back on the first campaign I saw a man who was trying his damn hardest to get everyone to believe him while not truly believing in himself. In the hallway I saw your eyes curiously looking into mine searching for a name to put on what we were feeling, when we stood looking at the Constitution I saw your love and when you gave me my ring I saw truth. But I never will have a complete answer except that I do love you. But there also times when I want ring your neck, like after our first time together. I hated you so much for making me push you in that direction of breaking your vows and who you are. I hated myself for not being strong enough for you. And I know I'm opening up old wounds but I did and still do believe in you with all of me."

"Liv I know you wanted to fix me but I also wanted to fix you. Our worlds have been so blurred for so long that when we see each other trying to help it seems like it's a separate agenda when its only love."

"I get what you mean. Why do you love me?"

"I thought I had an answer but as I sit here I can't up with just one. There's the way you make me want to be better in every aspect of my life. I told you that you own me, you control me, i cant breathe without you, and every word I said I meant it. I even love the way you drive me nuts with you always having to win not ever wanting to experience losing and learning to grow from it, but to put it simply, I just do."

"Two of the smartest people and we can't even put into words why we love each other figures."

"Hey we are rebels, gladiators; we don't do the whole feelings thing…well I kind of do."

Faking hurt, "and I don't?"

"Livvie it took everything in me not to quit being President but I stayed to make you proud. To show you that I am an honorable man, to show my kids that mistakes in life happen but it is not the end of the world, and to show myself that I am better than my father, that I will have my own legacy, that I will never be what he was. By doing all that I hope by now that I have earned it."

"Earned what?"

"You," I looked up into her eyes and new she had forgotten, "if I remember correctly I was not to get your hopes and if I wanted you I was not to treat you like a toy I wanted to play with, call on you if I was bored, lonely or horny, you are not the girl a guy gets at the end of a movie, if I wanted you I was to earn you. I sat there in front of Mellie and told her that I was in love with another woman, I told her that you were kidnapped and she basically told me what I already knew and that was to go to war for you. Livvie I have my demons but when I say I will move heaven and earth for you not matter if we are together or not please believe me. I sat there and ran out the clock with you and I thought I earned you then but I didn't. That moment was just that a.. moment, but thru all and I mean all the ups and down you came to me this time and that means the world to me. That makes me feel like I finally have earned you. So I ask have I earned you?"

* * *

 **And I'm going to end it there.**


End file.
